


Better Together

by shesnotme681



Category: Coronation Street
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:20:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesnotme681/pseuds/shesnotme681
Summary: Filling in some of the narrative gaps regarding Kate and Rana in the aftermath of Aidan’s death.





	1. Chapter 1

Rana stood outside the medical center listening to Kate’s voicemail recording for what must have been the sixth time that day.

~

The day before she’d missed all of Kate’s attempts to call her, having shut her phone off during a particularly busy day at work. It wasn’t until she was leaving that she saw all of the calls. Immediately beginning to panic, Rana was just about to call her back when she saw that Kate had also sent a text. _“Sorry for ringing you so many times. Going to have to cancel hanging out tonight. Staying at my dad’s.”_

Rana’s first assumption was that something had happened to Johnny. She was familiar with Johnny’s MS diagnosis, having been there in the early days when Kate was struggling to get him to seek the treatment he so desperately needed. Of course a part of her couldn’t help but be disappointed that she wouldn’t get the time with Kate she’d been looking forward to all day, but she was happy that Johnny had a daughter like Kate looking out for him. One of the many reasons she’d fallen for Kate Connor was her devotion to her family.

 _“No worries at all, babe. Everything okay?”_ Rana texted back while making her way to the Nazirs’. When she got in, she was surprised to see Alya with tear-stained cheeks cuddled up on the couch with Josh. Alya peered up at her briefly, said nothing, and returned her head to Josh’s shoulder. Yasmeen came through the kitchen and settled two mugs on the coffee table. Rana looked questioningly to Yasmeen, who gestured for her to follow her back into the kitchen.

“What’s happened?” Rana asked once the two were out of earshot of Alya and Josh, taking another peek at her phone to see if Kate had replied yet before setting it down on the counter.

“You haven’t heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Well I thought Kate may have…. No matter,” said Yasmeen, shaking her head decisively. “It’s Aidan.”

“Aidan? What’s happened with Aidan?” demanded Rana, who once again checked to see if Kate had replied to her. The knowledge that it was Aidan and not Johnny that had led Kate to ring her up so many times, that it was something to do with Aidan that led her to cancel on her and to stay at Johnny’s had thrown her through a loop. “Yasmeen. What happened?”

“He seems to have taken his own life.”

“What?”

“Kate didn’t mention…?”

“I… I missed her calls earlier. She just… she texted me saying she was staying at Johnny’s,” Rana explained, once again picking up her phone. “I thought maybe something happened with Johnny. But Aidan… oh my god. Why, how… I mean…. Kate must be a mess. I…” Her voice was rising, drawing Alya’s attention.

“Your girlfriend didn’t tell you her brother offed himself?”

“Alya!” scolded Yasmeen. Turning towards Rana, she added, “Why don’t you go on upstairs, love, give Kate another call?” Rana nodded and headed to her bedroom. She tried Kate a number of times. Calling. Texting. Never getting a response.

~

The morning after with still no response, Rana made her mind up during her lunch break and headed over to Kate’s flat. She was anxious, to say the least, not knowing what kind of state Kate might be in, what she should say to her, whether or not Kate even wanted to see her. She reasoned that those concerns would have to be shelved. The woman she loved more than anything had just lost her brother in the most tragic of circumstances. She needed to at least try to be there for her. As she timidly reached up to hit the buzzer, the door opened and out came Kate.

The conversation on the stoop was brief and painful. Rana tried her best to say the right things as Kate broke down in her arms, feeling guilty that she may have missed the signs of her brother’s deteriorating mental state, that she got so wasted at the party the night he planned to end his life that she missed a last chance to spend time with him, a chance she couldn’t help but wonder may have steered him away from that final devastating choice.

As Kate continued to cry into her shoulder, Rana asked her if she might want to head back upstairs. Kate nodded her head and let them in. She took a seat on the couch as Rana set down her things and busied herself with making tea.

“I’m supposed to be going back to my dad’s,” said Kate. Rana paused, looking at the back of her girlfriend, who seemed smaller than she’d ever seen her as she stared at her hands that were wrestling with each other on her lap.

“Okay. Um. Want me to walk you over?”

“No.... No, I don’t want to go back there.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I just don’t want them to worry,” Kate sighed. “And I left my phone there.”

“Have you eaten anything?”

“No. I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat. How about I pop out to get us some kebabs. I’ll stop on my way at Johnny and Jenny’s. Let them know I’ll be staying here with you and grab your phone. Yeah?” asked Rana, walking over towards Kate and putting her hands on her shoulders. Kate turned around, her eyes wide and hopeful despite their sadness.

“You’re going to stay with me?” For a moment, Rana felt unsure of herself. It seemed the obvious thing to do, but then again, these past few weeks she hadn’t exactly been consistent in making the obvious choices when it came to her new relationship and her old one.

“Well, yes. Unless you don’t…”

“Don’t want you to stay? Of course I want you to,” Kate said, putting a hand on top of Rana’s that was still resting on her right shoulder. “Thank you,” she added with real feeling. “I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls. It all just felt like too much.”

“I know. But I’m here now, okay?” said Rana, running her free hand through Kate’s hair and smiling at her softly. “Right. I’m going to head off. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” she added, giving Kate a parting kiss on the top of her head.

Back outside the flat, Rana mentally went through a checklist of everything she needed to do before returning. First, she needed to call out of work for the rest of the day. After that, she’d head to the Nazirs’ and pack a bag, which ended up being painless enough as no one was around to question her. And then she had to stop by Speed Daal to fill in Zeedan and let him know she was no longer good to help him out later that night. He proved determined not to make the conversation easy, but for the first time Rana acknowledged his obstinance for what it was and refused to be made to feel guilty for prioritizing the woman she loved. The suggestion that she consult Alya was particularly infuriating. Kate’s brother had just died. She didn’t owe her an explanation.

It was Jenny that buzzed her up when she arrived to Victoria Street. It came as a relief to Rana that it was her and not one of the other Connors. She always found it hard to find the right things to say in these sorts of situations. Jenny, too, seemed relieved to be interacting with someone who could, at least in part, sympathize with that particularly uncomfortable situation of being there for a loved one whose pain you might be able to viscerally feel but can’t quite fully understand the depths of. Handing over Kate’s phone, Jenny gave her a warm hug and thanked her for taking care of “our Kate.”

After collecting a couple of kebabs, Rana returned to the flat to find Kate sound asleep on the couch. Rana joined her, gently pulling her out of her awkward slouched sitting position and placing her head on her lap. It wasn’t long before Rana joined her in sleep. A short time later, they were both jolted awake by the sound of the door slamming shut. Alya had arrived home.

“What’s this? What are you doing here?” asked Alya, making eye contact with Rana as Kate sleepily rose her head up.

“Oh, would you just go do one, Alya,” Kate muttered groggily.

“I know this isn’t exactly an ideal situation, but I’m going to stay here for a bit,” said Rana matter of factly, squeezing Kate’s thigh supportively before standing up.

“So now I not only have to live with the woman my brother’s wife cheated on him with. But his cheating wife too?”

“Alya, her brother’s just died!” shouted Rana, exasperated. Behind her she heard a sharp intake of breath. She turned around to find Kate near tears, her chin quivering with the effort to not let them fall. “I’m sorry, babe,” Rana grimaced, reaching out towards her.

“I’m going to go to bed,” Kate said.

“I’ll be right there,” said Rana, her eyes following her regretfully. Turning back towards Alya, Rana steeled herself. “Have at me all you want. I know I made mistakes and I hurt Zeedan. I hate that I hurt him. I really do. And I’ve tried to make up for that where I can, though I know I never will completely.”

“No, you won’t,” agreed Alya, arms crossed over her chest.

“But the lies, the cheating, it wasn’t just for some fling. I fell in love with Kate. We’re together now. I’m going to be here for her. She needs me, Alya. Please try to understand, even if you don’t like it.”

Alya still felt the burning sting of not only knowing that this woman broke her brother’s heart, but also that this woman had been her best friend. Everything about the situation infuriated her, including the bit that Rana and Kate had embarked on a real relationship with Zeedan’s knowledge, with her none the wiser a couple of months ago. But, taking in Rana’s expression, the sincerity and determination in her voice, she had to accept that it was, and perhaps always had been, more than an affair. Could she really stand between a person who was grieving the death of a loved one and their partner? She knew what it was like to lose someone, after all.

“Fine,” said Alya. “Just try to stay out of my way, yeah?”

Rana nodded, grabbing the bag with the kebabs from earlier. “I”m just going to heat these up. We can eat them in Kate’s room.”

Sighing, Alya shook her head. “It’s fine. Eat them out here if you’d like. I’m heading back out anyway. Just grabbing my wallet.”

“Thanks.”

Opening the door to leave, Alya stopped and turned around, deciding that, for the moment anyway, it was more important to be a friend. “Losing someone, when it’s such a shock… It can get pretty dark. She’s going to need y… — the people who love her.” Before Rana could reply, she was down the stairs.

Rana walked back towards Kate’s room and quietly opened the door, finding Kate sitting upright on the bed, a picture of her and Aidan in her hands. “Alya left. Sorry about, well, yelling what I yelled.”

“She’s a right cow, that one,” spat Kate, standing up abruptly and putting the picture frame face down on her dresser.

Rana decided it best to ignore the comment in the interest of more important things, namely getting Kate to eat. “Come on,” she said, cautiously reaching out for Kate’s arm. “Let’s get you some food.”

“I’m not hungry. I told you before.”

“And I told you I was getting kebabs. You didn’t object.”

Kate looked up at her, a small but sweet smile gently curving the corners of her mouth.  “I may have been distracted since you’d just said you’d be staying here.”

Rana took the brief moment of relative levity to grab Kate by the arm. “Well, I am. And _you_ are going to bloody eat something.”


	2. Chapter 2

Rana had been lying in bed, wide awake, for nearly an hour. It was half nine and Kate’s arm was wrapped snugly around her middle, her head rested on Rana’s chest. They’d stayed up late the night before. Not talking. Other than what she’d said when Rana first saw her, Kate had offered nothing else about what she was thinking or feeling. Rana had tried a few times to broach the topic of Aidan, but each time she was met with a dismissal of some sort. So, she decided that the most she could do until Kate wanted to open up was just to be there with her.

On Friday, all that meant was cuddling up and watching movies, holding Kate as she tried to distract herself from everything outside the walls of her flat, her fidgeting hands betraying the fact that she was failing in the effort. When she’d finally crashed, Rana was relieved. And she was thankful this morning that she was still sleeping peacefully, and would not have moved herself out of Kate’s grasp for the world. Rana was lost in thought, stroking Kate’s hair when she felt a tight squeeze around her waist and her girlfriend stirring.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Kate whispered into Rana’s shirt.

“Me too, babe.”

“We’ve never woken up together before.”

“I think I could get used to it,” said Rana. It was hard not to think about why they were finding themselves sleeping in the same bed for the first time, the events that more or less forced it. Rana imagined Kate must have been thinking the same thing, and pulled her closer.

Picking her head up, Kate looked down at Rana and grimaced. “Ah, don’t be so certain. Seems I drooled on you a bit.”

Rana followed Kate’s gaze and saw the damp patch on her shirt she was referring to and laughed, shrugging. “Eh, I’ll take it. Come here,” she said, giving Kate a soft kiss good morning. “I love you, drool and all.” The two were snapped out of the moment by the buzzer going off, and the sound of Alya stomping to the door to see who it was followed by a few sharp knocks on the bedroom door.

“Buzzed Michelle in!” she shouted, sounding beyond harried.

Rana looked to Kate, expecting her to reply, but she said nothing. Alya knocked again impatiently. “‘Uh, okay. Thanks, Alya,” Rana answered. Looking to Kate, she added, “Hey, you okay?”

Kate looked straight ahead, seeming to collect herself, shove whatever emotions that were rising to the surface in that moment back down before looking at Rana, an eyebrow raised. “Don’t have much of a choice, do I?” As the two of them exited the bedroom, Michelle was walking through the flat door, which Alya had left propped open. Michelle took one look at her cousin and started to cry.

“Oh Kate,” she said, going in to hug the youngest Connor. “I’m so sorry.”

“Me too,” said Kate, pulling out of the hug prematurely. “Want a cuppa?”

“Thanks,” said Michelle. Seeing Rana for the first time, Michelle pulled her into a hug too, surprising her. “Thanks for taking care of our Kate.”

“How was my dad yesterday?” Kate interrupted, pulling cups out of the drainboard.

Michelle took a seat and weighed her response. “He’s doing alright, I suppose. Considering. Think he’s most troubled about why, why he did it.”

“Aren’t we all,” Kate sneered. “Knowing Aidan, probably did something daft.”

“We don’t know what was going on with him, Kate,” said Michelle gently.

Kate walked over to the counter and placed the cups down with a bit more force than was necessary. “Like I said, probably something daft. Not like our Aidan was the deepest bloke on the street.”

Michelle looked towards Rana for help. She had been leaning back up against the far counter, figuring it was best not to get involved. But now she could see that Kate was shaking slightly, whether with rage or sadness or anxiousness was anyone’s guess. Maybe all of it. Rana was sure that when she walked over and brought her arm up to rub Kate’s back that she would recoil. But instead, Kate melted into the touch and seemed to relax a bit.

“I’m sorry,” Kate said, looking up at Michelle. “I just don’t get it.”

“I know, Kate. It’s okay. I doubt we’ll ever get it.”

“Just wish he’d talked to me,” said Kate, her voice cracking as she swallowed a sob. Rana pulled her in closer and gave her a quick peck on the cheek as Alya came out of her room. Kate stiffened slightly at the sight of her, but Rana didn’t budge.

“Fancy some tea?” Rana offered.

“No thanks. Meeting gran at Roy’s,” Alya said, hastily exiting the flat. Michelle’s eyes opened wide with scandal as she recognized the current living situation for what it was, but decided it wasn’t the time to ask about it.

“You two should come by the bistro later,” she said instead. “I think your dad and Jenny and Carla are.”

“Ta,” said Kate. “Maybe we will do.” And then, as the thought of work suddenly occurred to her. “I forgot, I’m scheduled for a shift tonight, aren’t I?”

“Kate, don’t worry about the rota for a while, yeah?”

“But I…”

“Just take the week, okay?”

Kate nodded, begrudgingly accepting the offer. As Michelle took her leave of the flat, Kate released a deep breath. Internally, some sort of defense mechanism was still fighting back against the reality of Aidan being gone. Michelle’s visit served as just another nail in the coffin, another reminder that all of this was very much real. Her brother was never going to visit her in her flat again, or she visit him at his. Unwilling to succumb to the sadness, Kate shook her head as if that would serve to get the worst of her thoughts out.

“Hey,” said Rana, reaching out to her. She’d been watching the emotions flash across Kate’s face. “I know I keep saying it, but if you want to talk I’m here.”

Kate raised her eyes up to meet Rana’s. “I don’t want to talk,” she said, her gaze lowering to Rana’s lips. She kissed her gently at first, then pulled her in deeper, her hands at either side of Rana’s neck. Rana was getting lost in the moment, lost in her girlfriend’s affections when she felt tears on her cheek that weren’t her own.

“Kate, wait…” said Rana, pulling back.

“What?” asked Kate, her voice strained with both need and grief.

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

“Please. I need you,” pleaded Kate, searching Rana’s eyes for understanding before returning to the kiss. In response, Rana pulled Kate in tighter, realizing that right now what Kate needed more than anything was to feel close to her, to feel loved.


	3. Chapter 3

“Should we go out for a walk today?” Rana asked Kate, whisking up some pancake batter Sunday afternoon. Kate shuffled over to her, wrapping her arms around Rana’s waist, peppering sleepy kisses on her neck. “Oi, I’m trying to cook here.” Kate just groaned in response. “You need to get some fresh air,” said Rana. “And we can stop at your dad and Jenny’s while we’re out.” Once again, Kate remained silent, still clinging onto Rana and resting her head on her shoulder, but Rana felt certain Kate had given a slight nod of acceptance.

“Ahem,” coughed Alya, coming into the kitchen. “Sorry to interrupt, but I’d like some tea.”

“Have at it,” said Kate, peeling herself off Rana and taking a seat at the counter.

“Pancakes?” asked Rana.

“Uh, no thanks,” Alya replied coldly. “Bit late for pancakes, innit?”

“Never too late in the day for pancakes,” noted Kate drily.

“Or late in the year for Easter eggs,” Rana chimed in, making Kate choke on her coffee. Alya gave them a confused look as she put the kettle on.

“Are you two going to be here all day?” she asked.

“Erm, no. We’re going to head out for a walk after we eat. Right, babe?” said Rana, hoping Kate really was up for it.

Kate shrugged. “Yeah, sure. I’ll let Jenny know we’ll be stopping in.” Alya merely nodded at the news and headed back to her room, presumably to wait until the two made their exit. A moment later, Kate received an answer from Jenny as Rana started piling pancakes onto her plate. _“Your dad had a panic attack at Aidan’s. He’s okay. Not to worry. Going to bring him to the bistro for something to eat. Meet us there instead?”_

Kate reread the message, worrying at her lower lip. What kind of toll was all of this going to take on Johnny? How was it going to affect his MS? How could Aidan have done this to him, to all of them, to her?

“Selfish prat’s going to kill my dad too,” Kate hissed under her breath.

“What’s the matter?” asked Rana, pulling up a seat next to her.

“My dad’s had a panic attack. Jenny says he’s okay, but...”

“D’you know if he’s been taking his medication?” asked Rana, easily slipping into nurse mode. “He really needs to keep on top of that with all this stress.”

“I’m sure Jenny’s at least trying to make him. Can’t imagine him being an easy patient, mind.”

Rana nodded. “Well, should we go and meet them at the bistro then?”

“No.”

“No? Why not?”

“I can’t face everyone right now. I’m too angry. Don’t know what’ll come out my mouth. And I don’t want to upset my dad.”

Rana rubbed Kate’s back in understanding as she pushed her pancakes around the plate, dutifully taking a bite every now and then.

Abruptly hopping down from her stool, Kate cleaned her plate off into the trash bin and placed it in the sink. “So, shall we go on that walk?”

~

It was colder outside than either had expected, May proving to be a chillier month in Greater Manchester than usual. Rana took the opportunity, not that she needed an excuse anymore, to link arms with Kate, holding her close as they hit the cobbles. They walked for a long while in virtual silence, breaking the quiet only to ask which turn the other wanted to take or to make an observation about something they were passing, the children playing football, a dog pulling its owner nearly out of his shoes.

~

The next morning, they woke up to a call from Carla. The Connors needed to have a family meeting. Assuming that this would be a Connor-only affair, Rana reached for her own phone.

“I think I’ll ring up work. Tell them I’ll come in for a shift today after all.”

“Why would you do that?” asked Kate, unable to keep the hint of annoyance out of her voice.

“Well, you’ll be with your family. So I might as well…”

There was a brief moment when Kate thought to say something spiteful, something about her rushing out at the first chance she got, something about Zeedan. But she took one look at Rana’s eyes that were searching her with concern and thinly veiled anxiousness, and softened. “Would you mind coming with me?” asked Kate, her tone absent of any hostility.

“Of course not,” said Rana quickly, setting her phone down and placing a soothing hand on Kate’s shoulder.

Both showered and dressed, Kate and Rana headed off to Johnny and Jenny’s. On the way, Rana checked once again with Kate to be sure it would be appropriate for her to be there. And Kate once again dismissed the concern, telling Rana as though it were as obvious as anything else that she was her family now. The sentiment, which inspired a dull frustration the last time Kate had expressed it, now inspired a feeling of warmth that was only interrupted by the appearance of Alya, who was managing to shoot them daggers from across the street.

As the pair neared their destination, Rana stole a quick glance up at Kate that didn’t go unnoticed.

“What?”

“What? Nothing.”

“You’re looking at me like I’m a patient again.”

Rana sighed, and stopped in her tracks, turning Kate to face her. “I’m sorry. It’s just, I know it’s probably going to be a lot in there.”

“And you’re worried about how I’m going to handle it?”

“I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” said Kate, turning on her heel and resuming the walk to the flat.

Rana was worried. Kate had been so tightly wound the last couple of days, particularly when there was any mention of Aidan, or even any appearance or mention of her other family members for that matter. It wasn’t so much that Kate was actively in denial of the facts. She knew that her brother was gone, even if she couldn’t yet understand how that was a part of the reality she know existed within. But she very much hated to be reminded of these facts.

Then there was Jenny, who wanted to offer comfort, which Kate, like her father, found anything but comforting. And Michelle, who found reminiscing about Aidan therapeutic, while Kate seemed to find it traumatizing. Johnny’s unmasked grief broke Kate’s heart into even more pieces than it was in already. And Carla’s workaholic behavior, well, Kate just found it repulsive, even though she knew deep down that her sister was just trying to cope as best she could, like the rest of them.

Now, all of them, plus Rana, were going to be in a room together. Why? Rana still didn’t know, but she did know that whatever it was, it wasn’t going to be easy on any of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Appreciate all of the kind comments. Thank you! Also, apologies if it feels like I dragged the weekend out a bit. Next chapter will focus on the family meeting and its aftermath. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

At the Connor family meeting at Johnny and Jenny’s Victoria Court flat, Kate took a seat on the arm of the couch near her father, while Rana sat at the counter. Close enough so that she could provide some support if Kate needed it, but removed enough so that she didn’t feel as much of an intruder.

When it came to light that it was Aidan’s suicide note they’d gathered to read, Rana, despite herself, felt as though she’d rather be anywhere else. And when Kate read the contents of the note aloud, Rana felt her stomach drop. She knew that Kate would find the note, like everything else about her brother’s suicide, an absolute betrayal. Worse still was when Kate realized that she’d unknowingly caught Aidan jumpily intercept the letter before it was delivered to Johnny, but couldn’t account for when it had happened.

Sensing Kate’s distress, Rana quickly slid off her stool and placed her hands on her girlfriend’s upper arms, rubbing them up and down, both to comfort Kate and to ease her own nerves. It turned out that Aidan had sent the letter in February, only changing his mind after learning that Carla needed a kidney transplant — and that he might be a match. When Carla began blaming herself, Rana dared to speak, trying to reassure her that it had been Aidan’s choice to give her his kidney. She received a Connor tongue-lashing in return.

Even after learning that needing Aidan’s kidney kept him with them longer, Carla seemed unable to shake her feelings of guilt, and insisted that she had to leave to look after the factory. Simmering since the moment she’d gotten to her dad’s flat, Kate was no longer able to contain her own anguish, and took the opportunity to direct her anger at Carla. Everyone seemed to flinch at the outburst. When Rana asked if Kate was okay, she only managed to inspire another hurtful remark directed at the elder Connor sister, which led to a scolding from Michelle. Kate’s angry grief was getting her little sympathy.

~

On their way out of the flat, Kate stormed down the stairs, leaving Rana struggling to keep up with her.

“Kate!” she called after her as she swung open the door and kept moving. “Kate! Hold up!”

Rana didn’t catch up with Kate until they were back at the builder’s yard flat. Kate had ignored her calls the whole way. Rana found her sat down on the couch, hands gripping her thighs. She decided to give Kate some space and put the kettle on. This gave her some time to think of what to say, or not say, too. As the minutes ticked by, Rana grew more unsure of how to approach Kate. Nothing she’d tried yet had helped her start to open up, but she knew she couldn’t give up on her. If only…

“It was the day after Luke’s funeral.” Rana could just make out Kate’s barely audible words from across the room. What was the day of Luke’s funeral? “The letter. The day I saw Aidan intercept the letter,” Kate explained, unprompted.

“Oh,” said Rana, timidly making her way into the room with the tea that was probably lukewarm by now.

“He’d seemed twitchy. And I remember, I remember thinking he was acting weird.”

“You couldn’t have known.”

“Couldn’t I have though?" Kate asked, voice as strained as ever. "But… but that’s not all. The day before. The very day of Luke’s funeral.” Taking a deep breath, she went on, “I went over to Aidan’s place. I’m just remembering all this now. I went over to his place. I was all shook up. On edge, really. Between the funeral, seeing you with Zee, him storming into the bistro, me outing us to him. Anyway everything felt awful and wrong, and I went ‘round his place, grabbing a beer out of his fridge to calm my nerves. And d’you know what he was doing?”

“What?” Rana urged her on.

“Looking at pictures of us as kids,” Kate said, tears starting to roll freely down her cheeks. “I thought it was so weird. He wasn’t the sentimental type. He made a joke about me looking like a munter. And I… I smacked him on the head. Then he said who’d have thought I’d turn out so, well — his words not mine — beautiful. I asked him when he’d gotten so nice. What he’d done with my brother.”

“Oh, Kate,” said Rana, trying desperately to blink away her own threatening tears.

“And then he put himself down. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but… I was so wrapped up in my own life. I didn’t even think that he might be, I don’t know, depressed or, or... _suicidal_.”

“He didn’t want anyone to know, Kate.”

“But what if he did? He was sat there in front of me waiting to _kill himself_ , Rana. What if he wanted me to realize he was going through something? Wanted me to ask him? _Make_ him talk to me?” Kate went on, the sobs coming harder now.

“Shh, babe. It’s okay.”

“Maybe if I’d paid more attention. If I’d realized. I could have stopped him,” Kate went on. “If I hadn’t been smashed at the party, would I have known my own brother was about to go off himself? Could I have stopped it then?” Kate continued, pleading for answers she’d never have the answers to. “Oh, Rana, why’d he have to _do_ this?!” Kate sobbed.

Rana now had Kate wrapped up in both her arms, and was rocking her, kissing the top of her head, whispering reassurances that she knew were futile. Respectively lost in grief and lost in a vain attempt to somehow mitigate that grief, they hadn’t clocked Alya come in through the door, stopping and staring at them a moment too long before heading to her room. They were in their own world, their own universe, one thankful to have the other, and the other thankful to be able to be there, even if it could never be enough to fix this loss.

~

The next morning, Kate woke up puffy-eyed, but with a slightly clearer head. Talking to Rana had felt awful in the moment, but she felt better for it now, like a tiny amount of the weight of unrealized grief that was crushing her had been unburdened. Lifting her head up, she gazed at Rana, still blissfully asleep, taking in her long dark eyelashes, her lips just slightly parted, her soft wavy hair messily fanned out on the pillow. Kate was startled when she saw a smile breakout across those full lips she’d just been staring at.

“D’you want something?”

“You’re awake?”

“I am now,” said Rana, opening her eyes. Kate kissed her in response. “Mmm… how long were you staring at me for?”

“I wasn’t staring.” When Rana just quirked an eyebrow, she conceded. “Not long. I’ve got to appreciate waking up to you while I can."

“Speaking of,” Rana said, grinning. “I was thinking I might pick up some more things from Yasmeen’s. Stay a bit longer.”

“Yeah?”

“If you’re not sick of me yet.”

“Not even close,” said Kate, playfully placing kisses all over Rana’s face, sending her girlfriend into a fit of giggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! Next chapter... Alya brings up moving out, Rana considers her future and encourages Kate to talk to Sophie...


	5. Chapter 5

“I think I’m going to head over to my dad’s today,” said Kate Wednesday morning over a cereal breakfast with Rana at the flat. She hadn’t seen anyone in her family since Monday’s explosive meeting.

Rana placed a supportive hand on her wrist. “I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

“Not sure about happy," Kate offered with a crooked smile. "But s’pose a visit might do us both some good.”

“I’m sure,” said Rana.

“You should get out too. Been cooped up with me and my moods long enough,” said Kate, peering at Rana somewhat shyly.

Rana gave Kate her least impressed look. “Stop it. You know I’d not rather be anywhere else,” she said. “But... if you are going to be out most of the day, I do have a few errands to run. Maybe do a shift at Speed Daal.”

Kate rolled her eyes.

“I know, I know. It’s not just Zee. I’m doing it for Imran, too. Once they make enough money to hire more staff, I’ll be done with it entirely. I swear.”

“Just giving you a hard time, babe. I get it,” said Kate, reaching out to reassure Rana that she really wasn’t holding it against her. When they heard the sound of a purse being indelicately tossed onto the table behind them, they both turned around to see Alya, who’d clearly wanted to get their attention.

“I’m moving out.”

Kate looked her up and down and shrugged. “Okay.”

“Alya, you don’t need to do that,” Rana tried.

“Uh, yeah. I do.”

“No skin off my nose,” said Kate, returning to her cereal.

Alya was glaring at the back of Kate’s head, about to have a go at her before forcing herself to remember what Kate was going through at the moment. It didn’t make it any easier that Rana was pleadingly looking at her to leave her grieving girlfriend alone.

“So, when ya leaving?” asked Kate, not bothering to turn back around.

“Friday,” spat Alya.

“Cool.”

“This really isn’t necessary, I’m just…”

“Yeah, you just… Please, Rana. You’ll be all moved in before you know it,” said Alya, storming out the door.

Neither Rana nor Kate addressed the elephant that Alya had just unleashed in the room. Rana _had_ said that she was going to stay a bit longer, but how much longer she actually meant wasn’t certain to either of them. For her part, Rana did want to move in. Everything still seemed so complicated though. Between the Nazirs, and now the Connors. If she did propose she move in officially now, would Kate think it was out of pity? And Kate, keen to avoid another rejection, decided not to take the opportunity to ask again.

~

When Rana left the flat a couple of hours later, she headed straight to the Nazirs to collect more of her things. To her surprise, both Yasmeen and Zeedan had yet to leave for work. At least this presented her with an opportunity to offer to help out later. And it was good to hear that the business was getting off to a promising start.

But leaving number 6, Rana couldn’t help but feel a bit gross about the whole situation. She was genuinely happy that the business was doing well. Its success, rightly or wrongly, enabled her to in some small way justify the deal brokered between Zee and her parents that had appalled her from the beginning, but that she ultimately cosigned out of a mixture of guilt and emotional exhaustion. Every day that passed, though, made it clearer that things needed to change, guilt needed to be lifted, priorities needed to shift, the future given more attention than the past. So, she headed to Imran’s office. It was time to see what her options might be in seeking a divorce.

Unfortunately though, Imran wasn’t in, and Rana came face-to-face with Rosie. There was a time when Rana may have considered the elder Webster sister something of a friend. It was her, after all, who had inadvertently inspired her to kiss Kate for the first time. But, these days, with her relationship with Kate out in the open and Sophie as one of the injured parties in the whole affair, Rosie’s face was no longer a friendly one.

Rana decided the best way through Rosie’s iciness was basic kindness, asking after Sophie, who she knew had been close with Aidan. But what Rosie had to say came as a surprise to her. Not only had Sophie received what was likely one of Aidan’s last texts and neglected to respond to it, but Johnny had decided it was enough of a reason to place blame on her for his death — and had told Sophie so.

Rana had always liked Sophie. She’d liked her so much that, for a time anyway, she let herself believe that Kate would be better off with her. Before heading to Speed Daal, Rana stopped back at the flat to drop off her bag, hoping to catch Kate before she went to see her dad.

“What are you doing back?” said Kate, grabbing her jacket off the hook and barely managing to hide a smile at the sight of the newly filled duffle bag Rana had set on the floor.

“I just saw Rosie when I stopped in to see Imran.”

“Yeah?” said Kate, obviously confused about where this was going.

“I asked after Sophie. I guess she went ‘round to see Johnny the other day.”

“She what?”

“Well I guess she was feeling guilty. Aidan had texted her the night of the party, asking her if she was coming by, and she didn’t reply.”

“She was mad at him because of us.”

Rana winced at the recollection. “Yeah, well, I guess she showed Johnny the text. I don’t know what it said. But apparently he shouted at her, blamed her for what happened.”

“That’s mental.”

“Yeah.”

“She doesn’t deserve that.”

“Maybe you might want to reach out to her?”

“You think?”

“Could be good for you too. She was close with him. With Aidan.”

Kate nodded. “You’re pretty great, you know that?” she said pulling Rana in for a kiss. “I love you.”

“Mmm. I love you, too. I’ll see you later,” said Rana, stepping back through the door.

~

Kate followed Rana out of the flat a short while later, taking a few moments to collect herself. She and Sophie hadn’t spoken properly since their breakup. Admittedly, Kate still struggled to consider what they had an actual relationship, though she knew on some level that wasn’t an entirely fair or accurate assessment. Whatever it was that they’d had between them, she knew she’d hurt Sophie. And now she knew that Sophie, in trying to do the right thing by her family, had been stung by her father. She couldn’t let her take on that burden of guilt.

Unsure of what kind of reception she might find, Kate forced herself through the doors of the Rovers where Tim said she might find Sophie, spotting her by herself. There was nothing either of them could do about the initial awkwardness. But it wasn’t long before they fell into their old rhythm as friends. Kate was able to share some of her grief with Sophie, and Sophie was able to reassure Kate that if Aidan was guilty of anything, it was of loving her too much.

Kate was drained when she showed up at Jenny and Johnny’s for dinner, which was probably for the best. Being mellowed out, exhausted from crying, made her a better guest than when she was bottling everything up inside as she’d been on Monday. It was a quiet affair that left her feeling no better, though no worse either, which was an improvement. When she got back to the flat, Rana was just getting out of the shower, wrapped in a towel.

“Hiya,” she said, running her fingers through her wet hair. “How was dinner?’

“Kept my raging temper in check the whole time,” said Kate with mock pride.

“I didn’t…”

“I know, babe,” said Kate. “Only teasing. But I know how I’ve been. And… well, probably will continue to be on occasion. Thanks for putting up with me, by the way.”

“You’re alright,” Rana said, smiling at her with obvious affection, the smile growing wider as Kate lazily swaggered towards her until she had trapped Rana in an embrace. “I’m all wet!”

“Think I care?”

“Obviously not… ” said Rana laughing, taking a small step back nonetheless. “And how was the chat with Sophie?”

Kate sighed. “It wasn't easy, to be honest.”

“I’d imagine.”

“But good, though. Really good.”

“I’m glad you two were able to talk.”

“Me an’ all," said Kate, letting out a deep breath. "And, now we're mates again," she added, determined to steer the conversation in a lighter direction. "Seems we’ve got one less resident of the street chasing us out with a pitchfork to worry about.”

Rana looked at Kate like she was mad, then chuckled, remembering the exchange so many months ago. “I love so much.”

“Must do. Laughing at my bad jokes and all,” said Kate, smiling at Rana before hearing the sound of heels on stairs and looking over towards the door. “Speaking of pitchfork wielding residents…”

Rana laughed again despite herself, shaking her head and gently pushing Kate towards her bedroom. “Come on, let’s get you out of her way before you say something that leads her to flood the flat or something before she moves out.”

“Ye of little faith,” Kate said over her shoulder as Rana nudged her through the doorway.


	6. Chapter 6

Rana felt like she had whiplash.

She'd had a blissful start to the day, waking up in Kate’s arms again, something she was getting used to.

But then over breakfast Kate noticed a Speak & Save flyer on the counter that Alya must have brought into the flat, and Kate kicked off to Rana about Carla and Jenny and Summer and Billy. _And_ Alya.

Then there was the disorienting interview in which Zeedan made his delusions public.

And then she caught Zeedan following her girlfriend into town and snapping pictures of her with the woman he’d used as a pawn to try hurt her in the past.

And then...

She asked for a divorce.

Had a right laugh at a pub with Kate, Sophie, and Gemma.

Got harassed by a bloke at said pub.

Told Kate about getting a divorce and how she wanted to move in with her.

Almost had sex in a ginnel.

Got attacked by aforementioned bloke from the pub.

Watched Zeedan knock the bloke unconscious.

Got blamed by Zeedan for, well, everything.

Rana was now stood outside the flat, watching Zee storm off back toward Speed Daal and the man he punched get taken away in an ambulance. She took a deep breath, and headed back up the stairs.

Kate was putting away the medical kit she’d been using to tend to Rana’s minor head wound when she walked in.

“He alright?” asked Kate, referring to Zeedan.

“No, definitely not.”

“Did something more happen?" asked Kate, standing up straighter. "Zee didn’t try to…”

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s that guy from the pub. We saw him get loaded into an ambulance.”

“You’re kidding?” said Kate, looking alarmed.

“I need a glass of wine,” said Rana, sliding into a chair at the table. Without question, Kate pulled out a bottle and grabbed a couple of glasses.

“Not kidding then.”

“No. And Zee blames us. Well, me really.”

Kate bit her tongue. She had a lot of thoughts about Zee at the moment she wanted to share. Sure she was thankful that he’d gotten that guy off them, but they didn’t ask him to knock him out. And she certainly didn’t ask for him to stalk her into town in the hopes of catching her cheating, a week after her brother died no less. She poured the wine and slid a glass towards Rana, sitting down opposite her.

“So, still want that divorce?” asked Kate, a cheeky grin on her face.

“Are you mad? Making a joke at a time like this?”

Kate shrugged. “What better time, eh?” she said, picking up her glass and clinking Rana’s before taking a large swallow.

Rana shook her head in disapproval, but followed suit. It was as though they’d made an unspoken agreement in that moment not to talk about the bad stuff. Not about Zeedan and divorces. Not about creepy blokes following you back from pubs. Not about relatives lost, whether through death or disowning. They got so caught up in their own company, having a normal conversation like any two normal girlfriends, the bottle was gone before they knew it. When Kate got up to grab them some water, Rana stood up too.

“Wait,” she said, pulling Kate back by the hand.

“What’s up, love?”

Rana answered with a kiss, capturing Kate’s lips with hers.

“Mmm,” said Kate, pulling Rana into a hug. “I’m so relieved you’re okay,” she added, unable to stop herself from recalling the ordeal they went through earlier.

Rana backed away holding Kate at arms’ distance, a crooked smile on her face. “You know, I have a feeling if Zee hadn’t shown up we’d have been alright.”

“Yeah, how’s that?” asked Kate, a tad incredulous but amused.

“I think you could have taken him,” said Rana in all seriousness.

“Oh really?”

Rana brought her hands to Kate’s biceps. “Really.”

Kate laughed. “Think a lot of my arms, do ya?”

“And your abs,” agreed Rana, drawing one hand lower to drag her fingers down Kate’s stomach, making her flinch. “Yeah, we’d have been alright,” Rana added confidently.

“You trying to pick up where we left off?” Kate asked breathily.

“Isn’t that obvious?” Staring intently at Kate, Rana pulled herself up to sit on the table. Instinctively, Kate moved to stand between her legs.

“So, not the alcohol…” said Kate, placing her hands on the table on either side of Rana’s hips, her face so close to Rana’s their eyelashes could have brushed.

Rana shook her head in response, and brought her lips to meet Kate’s. Kate hungrily grazed Rana’s lower lip with her teeth, eliciting a moan from her girlfriend who wrapped her legs around her waist. Kate took the cue, and lifted Rana off the table, taking the few steps into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind her before carefully setting Rana on the bed.

“God, do I want you,” said Kate, climbing onto the bed after Rana, who had already pulled her shirt off and was straddling Kate before she knew it. Both their chests heaving with want, they stared into each other’s blown pupils, knowing they were going to give each other everything.

~

Kate had been up for some time, staring at the ceiling with a decidedly unquiet mind. Everything seemed to be falling into place with Rana, but yesterday seemed so surreal. Did Rana really plan on moving in with her? Was she serious about getting a divorce from Zee? It all seemed a bit too good to be true. They'd yet to actually discuss any of it. Though, if it were true that actions spoke louder than words, than maybe last night in their bed was confirmation. She bit her lower lip and smiled at the recollection. But Kate was greedy. She needed the words too.

Rana let out a small yawn into the crook of Kate’s bare neck. Feeling it, Kate looked down at her with nothing but love. She wanted to say, "Good morning," or "I love you," or make some flirty reference to their night together. Instead, she spat out, "Did you mean what you said yesterday?”

"Mmm," said Rana.

“Is that an mmm… yes? An mmm… no? An mmn… I don’t know?”

“Mmm…”

“An mmm… let me me sleep because I’m still too worn out from last night to form coherent thoughts?”

“Mmm…”

“For the love of god, woman,” said Kate, playfully, but no less frustratedly, giving Rana a slight shake.

“You. Are annoying,” said Rana, sleepily brushing away some hair out of her face. Kate stared at her, unamused. Rana sighed and shifted so that she was sitting up in bed. “Going to go out on a limb here. I assume you’re referring to me wanting a divorce and to move in with my girlfriend, who I am hopelessly, irrevocably in love with — ah, now she gives us a smile — I meant every word.” Kate just sat there grinning at her. “I also meant what I said about you taking that thug. In addition to arms, and abs, you’ve got some incredible stamina.”

“Cheeky,” said Kate, pulling Rana back down on top of her.

Rana rolled off her. “Seriously though. I feel like we’ve thought or said that something or other was the start of us. But this is it isn’t it?” Kate shook her head yes. “I can’t believe I thought I could wait a year to end my marriage. The interview was a breaking point, but, honestly, I was already seeing what my options were.”

‘What? You were?” said Kate, taken aback.

“Yeah, when I was trying to see Imran the other day, that’s what I wanted to talk about.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up. So much has been going on.”

“And now Zee’s sent that bloke to hospital.”

Rana sighed heavily, still not believing that part of yesterday happened. “There’s always going to be a lot going on,” she said, holding Kate’s gaze. "But, you know what we said, no matter what happens, we’ll get through it together.”

“Too right,” said Kate, stealing a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
